Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
