watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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