Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
