i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize