he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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