The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
