Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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