this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
