are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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