I heard we made out
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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