So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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