I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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