He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
