I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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