FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
