I got chris browned last night
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
