We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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