I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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