Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize