When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
sarcasm needs its own font
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
