I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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