please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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