covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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