dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Is Oprah even human
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
