you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
