I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
COCAINE IS GR8
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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