We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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