Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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