I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
