My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
