Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
