And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
So squirting runs in the family.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
