Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
