the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i dont even know how to be here
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
