im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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