So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
