I'm lost and stupid without you.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
