He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
