Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
