The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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