We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
she peed on how many people?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
