Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
