We're facebook friends in real life
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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