im drinking this country out of the recession.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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