is your mom at the bar?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize