so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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