its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
