So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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