You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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