Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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