I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
