We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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