the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
