Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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