I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just found puke in my bra..
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
