My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
