So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
