She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She's the barista slut.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
