We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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