all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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