Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
