Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The struggles of a small town man whore
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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