We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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