Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Even my vagina gasped.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Randomize
