What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
