I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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