Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
